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This post continues yesterday’s description of the Shroom-Goblin Tesseract Caves. Check out yesterday’s post for an overall description of the insane residents of these caves. I’ll post as many of the rooms as I can today, but will probably finish it off on Monday as the “I” entry in the A to Z challenge (I is for Infinite Goblins?)

I’ll be honest, many of the caves were stocked using the Special Encounters tables from pages 148 & 149 of the Labyrinth Lord Advanced Edition Companion book. At least for the initial inspiration.

The Tesseract Caves of the Shroom Goblins

The Tesseract Caves of the Shroom Goblins

Room Contents

1. Headquarters of the Rebel Faction – contains 4d4 goblins and two massive mutant goblins (hobgoblins). They like to sit around campfires and sing songs about being merry men and valiant robbers, but they often forget what they are singing about and start singing pro-goblin king songs… “Dance magic dance!”

2. Guardpost – two stone goblins faces leer out of the wall. If they react badly to the party they begin to scream “hostile THINGS at the screaming bloody chamber, you idiot fungi!” and similar. If they react well, they will tell the party about the local politics, how to make a decent goblin souffle, and will try to sell their spit as “magic spit” for 30 gp a vial (they swallow the gold if paid, and the party has to provide the vials).

3. The Angry Rug – a scouting party of 6 loyalist goblins are currently having their cover blown by the rug they were walking across. Fed up with dirty goblin feet, the rug is trying to convince the goblins that they are jerks, and that they should at least clean off their feet. If treated with respect (and at least a little over-the-top groveling, as well as clean feet), the rug can be a source of information about the comings and goings of goblins. Really good convincing will have it also give the location of the secret panel in room 26, where the carpet used to be before he got all faded.

4. Hardcore Goblins – this cave has a single campfire, separated from the ones in area 1 because the goblins here are just too “hardcore” for the ones back there. These six goblins are confirmed rebel anarchists and wield home-made explosive flaming acid vials as well as their usual home-made melee weapons. Each has two vials of explosive flaming acid – when thrown they deal 2d6 damage to the primary target, and 1d6 damage to everyone within 10 feet. Those failing a saving throw against dragon breath are covered in the flaming acid, dealing a further 1d4 damage per round for 1d4 rounds. Anarchy!

5. The Screaming Cave – this cave contains a collection of wild shriekers and one old goblin that the shriekers are so used to that they ignore him now. Unfortunately for him, he’s stone deaf from years of shrieking and won’t hear them if they do start to shriek because there is an intruder in the cave. He’s so old and grizzled that he’s got 11 hit points – mostly gristle and sheer hardheadedness. He also has a Cheese Knife +1, +3 versus Slimes, Molds and Oozes (1d2 damage).

6. The Lurking Stones – when someone walks into this cave the ceiling begins to creak and make noises like it is about to collapse, accompanied by dust and small stones falling to the floor. If ignored, portions of it will indeed fall – anyone in the room must save versus petrification or take 1d12+1 damage. However, just telling the ceiling to stop with the theatrics (or any similar demand) will shut it up – it just wants attention. Particularly unpleasant comments will be rewarded with a sprinkling of dust and sand on the speaker as they cross the room, but it will remain safe.

7. Oubliette – the entrance to this cave is partially concealed by spider webs and no goblin obviously goes here, even though there are a few jeweled doodads on the floor. The floor in this room stretches like a very old and abused trampoline, until anyone in the room finds themselves in a sheer-sided space sunken almost 20 feet below the proper floor level of the cave. The jeweled doodads are costume jewelry from a goblin masquerade ball, and are worth 20 gp, or the eternal gratitude of any of a number of young goblin girls who desperately wished they had gorgeous doodads for the masquerade balls.

8. Tropical Hideaway – 8 goblins make this cave their home, and have some pretty decent furniture. They are quite welcoming to any visitors. In the alcove in the northeast corner, a tapestry covers most of the wall. The tapestry is of a huge fireplace in a grand hall of some kind. The fireplace in the tapestry produces heat almost as if the fire were in the room – keeping the room toasty and warm (although the fire isn’t hot enough to really cook with, it does keep cooked food warm and can be used for slow-cooked meals like soups).

9. Drooling Shrooms – this cave has been given over to a mushroom garden / forest – a food source for the local populace. However, the Giant Chartreuse Toadstools have just matured, and anyone getting too close will trigger their defensive response of emitting a foul semi-intelligent slime mold treated in all ways as a bright pink ochre jelly.

10. Entry Chamber – yeah, you start in room 10. Nice and easy for the DM to figure it out when he pulls this out for a one-night game and then has to dig through the whole thing just trying to hunt down the “starting point” when there are no obvious entries on the map. This cave looks like it was blasted into existence somehow – with jagged points of stone jutting in towards the centre of the room. In the centre of the room are three ten foot tall mirrors set into a triangle (or a vertical prism). When outsiders arrive in the tesseract caves, they appear in the triangular space between these mirrors, and one of the three mirrors slides aside to let them out. However, leaving requires the consent of the goblin king. There are rarely goblins in this room (except passing through), because it freaks them out. The goblin king always posts a watch here to track newcomers to his domain, but no goblin actually serves the watch – instead they hide somewhere else until their duty time is over and report back that no one came through.

11. Bartertown! this whole cave contains the illusion of a thriving village with peoples of many races shopping and discussing the weather, the price of tea, and so on. Amongst the illusionary buildings the goblins have set up their actual trading booths and homes, enjoying the sense of business that comes with the location. There are at least a dozen goblins here at any time, ready to sell to any real customers among the illusion (and they’ll recognize real customers as they’ve seen the illusions day after day), and another score or more who live here but spend most of their time out in the caves. Specialties of Bartertown include slime mold curd cheese, chewing dung, wooden weapons and armour, and a variety of strange spices and dried fungus to make other fungus more appetizing.

12. Lost Goblins – in both alcoves in this room are terrified looking goblins, frozen immobile, one actually in mid-air. The entries to these alcoves seem to be blocked by a magical field that can be pushed through with some effort. Anyone entering an alcove (which can’t be done accidentally) will be frozen in time in there until released. To release someone from an alcove, someone else must take his place, which immediately ejects the previous tenant. The two current goblin tenants were forced in to get someone else out (one was actually physically thrown in by a group of angry rebels who were busting one of their pals out of the “clink” as it were).

13. Big Nose’s Lair – fifteen goblins live here with Big Nose, a goblin with a particularly normal nose, heck it might even be a bit on the small side. They live life as goblins tend to – eating, belching, farting, playing crude tricks on one another and groveling in the presence of the goblin king. It turns out that Big Nose is a title, and anyone who kills Big Nose will get the title for the remainder of their stay in the caves – and somehow every goblin they meet will know that he or she is the new Big Nose. The southern rough exit from this cave is a steep natural staircase of black stone that is somehow intimidating by its very nature. In fact, very few goblins ever use said stairs, getting to area 14 the long way (via 5, 6, 28, 29, 8, 9, 27). Anyone wanting to use the stairs feels sudden vertigo when looking up or down them, and must make a save versus spells or be unable to climb them.

14. Emergency Access System – the alcove here, practically at the bottom of the frightening stairs of area 13, contains three statues of elves, each pointing a finger forward – two at around face level, one much lower. If the statues are rotated the right way (turned to face each other so one elf is poking the other in the eye, that elf is poking the third in the ear, and the third is poking the first in the butt), anyone standing in the centre of the three elven statues is teleported to room 26, the Goblin King’s audience chamber. If someone activates the emergency exit system from room 26, the three statues will rotate into the same positions. Once activated and the teleport has occurred, the three statues rotate to random facings. This area is guarded by four goblin loyalists who have no clue what they are guarding, and thus don’t do much of a guard job and will actually work along with any characters trying to figure out how the elven statues work – doubly so if one of the characters is an elf (and laughing quite loudly when it is discovered that one elf statue is meant to be poking the other in the butt – “what do you expect from that kind of fairie anyways?”)

Alright, rooms 15-29 will be here on Monday.

This dungeon was completely envisioned based on the one map posted by JDJarvis to his blog in December. It is part of the RPG Blog Carnival for April which is focused on RPG Cartography. It is also post 8 in the A to Z Blogging Challenge – H is for the Hazards of adventuring with goblins.

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