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deadEarth - We eat lightning and piss napalm.

deadEarth - We eat lightning and piss napalm.

I just can’t stop rolling up deadEarth characters. The post apocalypse can’t keep a mutant down, man!

After my first three failures, yesterday I saw my first playable character, nearly superheroic.

So I decided to test my luck and try it again.

The initial die rolls are pretty sweet:


Moves: 11
Resiliency: 8
Strength: 0

And the first result I got on the age table is the ability to pick my height and weight. Now, I personally think that this means you are supposed to pick from the results available on the height and weight rolls (so between 4’6″ (54″) and 7′ (74″) and with a weight that is your height x1, x2, x3, x4 or x5 (between 54 and 370 lbs). But we’ve been seeing a lot of Troll-sized Fallout Mega-Mutants here that far exceed these parameters, so I figured I could go for broke and be 128″ tall and weigh 1 pound (+5 moves!)

Instead I went with 54″ tall (4’6″) and 162 lbs (+2 resiliency, -1 strength).

Back to the aging table:
[89] Roll again and choose height & weight
[81] Roll again -100 skill points
[62] Roll twice and choose
[82 or 10] Roll again +50 skill points
[94] Roll again +D6 to an attribute (moves)
[76] Roll again +100 skill points

(this is getting ridiculous)

[67] Roll again +D6 radiation manipulations
[93] Roll again +D6 to an attribute (moves)
[65] Roll again twice and choose
[57 or 70] either decrepitly old, or +d6 radiations… +D6 Radiations it is.
[40] 40 years old -1 moves, 900 skill points, 2d6 radiation manipulations

After the aging and height weight tables, Stumpy has:

Moves: 20
Resiliency: 10
Strength: -1

Stumpy got moves like you ain’t never seen!

Actually, I’ll throw his d6 freebie into moves too.

And I get to spend his 950 skill points. First to the Natural Abilities: Business, Chemistry, Drive Non-Motorized, WS Melee. Natural Inabilities: Drive Plane, Drive Sailcar, Forgery, Navigate, Sensors

First he needs weight training to bring up that pathetic Strength to at least +0. And running, because 24 moves isn’t enough. Now, I like the idea of Stumpy being a businessman. Business can’t be that hard of a skill to bring up, and it is his first natural ability, right?

Holy fuck am I wrong. Seven prerequisites for Business. And it actually has little to no game effect unless we get into long-term campaigns involving sales and post-apocalyptic market trends… “I don’t get it Stumpy, we don’t seem to be selling many of these “I Survived deadEarth Character Creation” T-shirts!”. But I’m going for it. I appreciate that Haggling and Business don’t require Charisma or Guile. Stumpy might be good at figuring out what’s valuable and how to buy and sell it, but he’s not a good talker otherwise.

Appraise 5d6
+ Business 5d6
Haggle 6d6
Intuition 4d6
Math 4d6
Reason 4d6
Running 6d6
Senses 4d6
Stealth 6d6
Streetwise 4d6
Weight Training 4d6
WS Handgun 4d6
+ WS Melee 6d6

And 4d6 Radiations (16)

(1) [739] Heart Murmur – When entering a stressful situation roll 1d6 – 1: d6 stun, 2: 2d6 stun. 3: 3d6 stun. 4+ nothing. (binary)

Awesome. No wonder he’s a merchant, he sits there stunned when combat begins, clutching at his chest with his short little arms. Even intense trade negotiations can result in him having to take a breather.

(2) [117] Read Preternatural – for 10 skill points I can detect what radiations you have. (binary)

(3) [337] Lucky Day – one of my RadMans becomes permanent (permanent)

I think I’ll take… hmm. Hard choice here. Let’s go with Read Preternatural instead of the Heart Murmur

(4) [086] Lethal Injection – Next time my skin is pierced I take 1 damage per day until I die. (binary)

(And this is starting to feel like deadEarth again! Stumpy is doomed!)

(5) [094] Made To Suffer – All skills are natural inabilities (cumulative)

(More tragic deadEarthliness! Although this makes me wonder why on earth this radman is Cumulative instead of Binary. That means you can get it repeatedly and the effects “stack”. If all my skills are already natural inabilities, what exactly does Made To Suffer to do me if I get it again?)

(6) [083] Hercules – +4d6 Weight Training (cumulative)

(Stumpy might be doomed, but he’s buff!)

(7) [288] Domination – +2D6 to command, resolve, intimidate, influence, charisma, guile, interrogate, outright lie, and haggle. (cumulative)

Holy crap, that’s sweet!

(8) [644] Jackpot – makes 1D6 RadMan permanent (permanent)

(3 of them – Applied to Domination, Hercules, and… crap… Heart Murmur)

(9) [726] Human Computer +2d6 Math & Computer (binary)

(10) [848] Sentinel +2d6 Senses & Intuition (binary)

(Stumpy is ALL about the mad skills)

(11) [932] Allocation of Resources – gain a number of dice to my skills equal to the number of radiations I have. Count the number of skills at 6D or higher and add that many new radiations. (temporary)

(Yoinks! +10d6 to skills… Bring Business & Appraise up to 8D6 each and put the other 4 into WS Melee (10d6 mofo!). Now I have Appraise, Business, Haggle, Intuition, Math, Running, Senses, Stealth, Weight Training and WS Melee at 6d or higher so that’s +10 RadMans. This sounds like we are heading for a dead character with a shit-ton of skills)

(1*) [378] Cosmetic Shift – Skin turns electric blue. (cumulative)

(2*) [962] Apoptosis – lose 1 hp per week until dead. (binary)

(So stumpy has a month or so before we lose him to the wasteland, or until he gets a pinprick)

(3*) [710] Fortitude – +2d6 Resolve, add [580], [555], [499]. If he harms or kills an innocent, add [496]. (permanent)

[580] Natural Armor – +1 Armor to whole body. (cumulative)

[555] Natural Armor Stun – +1 Stun Armor to whole body. (cumulative)

[499] Tough as Nails – +1 hit point to each body location (cumulative)

(4*) [547] Transgression – Will convince others to break laws for him. +2d6 Guile (binary).

(5*) [042]Irresistable – +3d6 Charisma and Influence when seducing (binary)

(Stumpy is turning into a manipulative little creep!)

(6*) [350] Paraplegic – Paralyzed from the legs down. 1/2 Moves. (cumulative)

(That’s right bitches. Even with his legs paralyzed, Stumpy moves faster than you with Moves of 13)

(7*) [886] Gutty – +D6 Charisma and Intimidate (cumulative)

(8*) [766] No Regrets – Roll for a new RadMan whenever I want, gain 20 skill points whenever I use this. (binary)

(9*) [763] Cardiac Arrest – When entering a stressful situation there is a 1 in 6 chance of a heart attack. 2d6 stun and if not immediately resting for 3d6 minutes, take 3d6 damage to the torso. (binary)

(His heart is getting to be problematic)

(10*) [889] Pernicious – +2d6 Intimidate, -2d6 Charisma (binary)

(12) [085] Overhaul – Add skill points for high skill levels, spend on skills at 3d6 or lower. (temporary)

(Stumpy currently has 7 skills at 4d6 (35 points), none at 5d6, and 13 skills at 6d6 or higher (195 points) for a total of 230 skill points that have to be spent immediately on skills at 2 and 3 d6. Well, his Charisma just got knocked back down to 3d6, so let’s crank that up to 5d6, and bring Brawling, Martial Arts and Bemuse to 4d6 each).

(13)[957] Reparations – remove all radiations, including permanents. For each radiation removed, either add +1 to an attribute, roll for a new radiation, or add 40 skill points. (temporary)

(Shitkebabs. Flaming piles of fucking fuckshit. All that work, and now I get to wipe it all out? Ok, I have 23 Radiations currently. Removing them suddenly fixes Stumpy’s heart and legs, reduces his Weight Training & Guile by 4d6; Intimidate by 3d6; command, resolve, influence, interrogate, outright lie, and haggle, math, computer, senses, intuition, each by 2d6; and Charisma by 1d6. The drop in Weight Training brings his Strength down by 2.

Ok, now that he’s been degimped and deskilled, I get 23 floaters to assign. I still have 3 more Radiations to roll… So I’m thinking of dumping them all into his stats. Because 26 moves just isn’t enough. Let’s bring that to a nice round 40. Nine points left… And they all go into Strength.)

(14) [148] Runt – minus 8″ height, -24lbs weight, +2 moves

(This changes his height/weight mods from +0/+2/-1 to -1/+1/-1)

(15) [022] Reprisal – get back one of your old radiations (temporary)

(I’m looking at either Domination or Allocation of Resources. Allocation gives me 1d6 to add to my skills, and then 6 Radiations. Domination gives me +2d6 to a whole pile of social skills… If I were trying to get this character to survive, I would take Domination. But the chance to go through the whole Allocation of Resources rigamarole again is just too much to pass up)

[932] Allocation of Resources – gain a number of dice to my skills equal to the number of radiations I have. Count the number of skills at 6D or higher and add that many new radiations. (temporary)

(I only have 1 radiation – being Runt. So I add 1d6 to WS Melee bringing it up to 11d6. Now I get to roll for 6 more radiations because I have Appraise, Business, Haggle, Running, Stealth and WS Melee at 6D or better)

(*1)[352] Wired – +1 Strength, Resiliency & Moves (cumulative)

(*2)[096] Sharpshooter +1 skill point when I roll WS rifle, WS handgun, WS handgun paired, or WS missile. (cumulative)

(*3)[411] Vaccination +10 shielding (cumulative)

(*4)[479] Fleet Increase difficulties to be hit in combat by one difficulty level (cumulative)

(*5)[413] Quicksilver -18″ height, 1/2 weight. +3 moves, -2 Strength (cumulative)

(Well fuckshit. I have to go and extend the height weight table because it doesn’t support anything under 41″ tall stumpy is 28″ tall now. Extrapolating the table I realize that the Strength modifiers don’t change from one height category to the next, so it is 100% dependent on weight. 69 lbs is a -2 to Strength so my Strength drops by 1. The resiliency table moves “up” two steps every step to the left. I’m two steps to the left, so that’s 4 steps worse on the resiliency table. That’s a -2 Resiliency instead of my existing +1, so I lose 3 Resiliency. Moves does the same trick, moving down two steps every step to the left. That’s -3 Moves instead of my existing -1. Then I throw in the mods for Quicksilver and my stats end up at 43 / 6 / 7.)

(*6)[226] Choice of Fate – remove one radiation. (temporary)

(After all that calculating (MATH IS HARD!), there goes Quicksilver and good riddance)

(16) [461] Resurgence – for every cumulative radiation on your list, add another of the same type. (temporary)

(Thank god I got rid of Quicksilver or I would be down to 10 inches tall (minus another 2d6 inches for Runt) and 35 lbs! With Runt that COULD finish off with being -1″ tall and weighing -1 lbs!) – but this does give me Runt, Wired, Vaccination, Sharpshooter and Fleet again)

[148] Runt – minus 5″ height, -15lbs weight, +2 moves
[352] Wired – +1 Strength, Resiliency & Moves
[096] Sharpshooter +1 skill point when I roll WS rifle, WS handgun, WS handgun paired, or WS missile.
[411] Vaccination +10 shielding
[479] Fleet Increase difficulties to be hit in combat by one difficulty level

Stumpy McStump, fastest businessmidget on the deadEarth

Moves: 45
Resiliency: 10
Strength: 11

Shielding: 20
Height: 41″ (3′ 10″)
Weight: 123 lbs

Acrobatics 2d6
Appraise 8d6
Bemuse 4d6
+ Business 8d6
Brawling 4d6
Charisma 4d6
+ Chemistry 2d6
Climbing 2d6
Command 2d6
Computer Operations 2d6
Domestics 2d6
Drive Automobile 2d6
Drive Boat 2d6
Drive Cart 2d6
Drive Heavy Machine 2d6
+ Drive Non Motorized 2d6
- Drive PlaneDrive Railed 2d6
Drive Recreational 2d6
- Drive Sailcar 2d6
Drive Tracked 2d6
Escape 2d6
First Aid 2d6
- Forgery 2d6
Guile 4d6
Haggle 6d6
Herb Lore 2d6
Interrogate 2d6
Intimidate 4d6
Intuition 4d6
Jimmy Lock 2d6
Jury Rig 2d6
Martial Arts 4d6
Math 4d6
Memory 2d6
Metallurgy 2d6
- Navigate 2d6
Outright Lie 2d6
Pioneering 2d6
Reason 4d6
Resolve 4d6
Running 6d6
Senses 4d6
- Sensors 2d6
Stealth 6d6
Streetwise 4d6
Swimming 2d6
Tracking 2d6
Trapping / Fishing 2d6
Weight Training 4d6
Wrestling 2d6
WS Ballista 2d6
WS Blade 2d6
WS Handgun 4d6
+ WS Melee 11d6
WS Missile 2d6
WS Rifle 2d6
WS Shield 2d6
WS Thrown 2d6

[148] Runt – minus 8″ height, -24lbs weight, +2 moves
[352] Wired – +1 Strength, Resiliency & Moves
[096] Sharpshooter +1 skill point when I roll WS rifle, WS handgun, WS handgun paired, or WS missile.
[411] Vaccination +10 shielding
[479] Fleet Increase difficulties to be hit in combat by one difficulty level
[148] Runt – minus 5″ height, -15lbs weight, +2 moves
[352] Wired – +1 Strength, Resiliency & Moves
[096] Sharpshooter +1 skill point when I roll WS rifle, WS handgun, WS handgun paired, or WS missile.
[411] Vaccination +10 shielding
[479] Fleet Increase difficulties to be hit in combat by one difficulty level

Footnote: Stumpy is a melee god. In addition to 40+ moves (and therefore an Initiative of 4D6 + 45), he rolls 11d6 to attack, and when he’s defending, the difficulty to hit him is one step BEYOND 51. That extrapolates to be Difficulty 69. That’s right home-boys, you need to roll a 69 to hit him if he’s got a melee weapon to defend himself with (like a chopstick). Even with his 11D6, he couldn’t hit himself. And with 45 moves, he can defend all round and then when you run out of moves, he can spend his remaining 30 moves killing your mother. With a broken lawn chair.

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