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Matt Jackson's "Keeton Must Die"

Matt Jackson's "Keeton Must Die"

Teddy Bears invested with souls pulled from hell have escaped from the television stations where they were filming Teddy Bear Blood Sports events and are seeking to destroy the man who created and exploited them.

Keeton must die.

This is the game that won the Free RPG Blog & 1km1kt.net 24 hour RPG challenge (as announced on August 1st). While I’m very happy with my own entry in the contest, this game is definitely a little bit more out there conceptually than the tried-and-true formula of cyberpunk low-life I went for with Geodesic Gnomes.

In the game you take on the role of one of the many ScareBears – teddy bears infused with the essence of a soul summoned from hell.

You can download the game here: Keeton Must Die! Teddy Bear Blood Sports

The first step in character creation is determining what kind of stuffed animal you are. The options are pretty close to unlimited, but to help you out the author has included a table of various animal types. Unfortunately there’s no random die roll option so I have to pick one from the list myself. I’m going to purposefully pick one that doesn’t have any real “natural” abilities that could provide bonuses in-game (like the turtle’s hardened shell… although no plush turtle I’ve ever owned actually had a hard shell). I think I’ll go with chicken. I love chickens.

Well, actually I don’t. I hate the smelly clucking beasts. But all the better for a game about Teddy Bear Blood Sports.

I then get 10 dice to distribute between 3 ability scores of Body / Mind / Soul (like in GoO’s Tri-Stat system). The maximum in any stat is 6. Chickens are not known for their smarts, so I’ll focus on the other two stats. In the end my stuffed fake fowl goes with a Body of 3, Mind of 2 and Soul of 6. Kid’s got soul. Probably has a soul patch under his beak and plays a saxophone in his spare time.

Clucky McSoulPatch (clever name, eh?) then gets 10 dice to put into traits (with a maximum of 5 dice in any trait). Traits in this game are things like Claws of Doom, Thinks He’s A Viking, Chainsaw Massacre and Texas Hot BBQ Chef. Hmm… I’m getting the impression the author is a fan of Risus. Anyways, Clucky takes 4 dice of Peck Yer Eyeballs Out (or somewhere else that hurts, damnit), 3 dice of Musical Accompaniment, and 3 dice of Frier Tuck (yuck yuck yuck) (which makes him pleasant to be around, fat, good with a quarter-staff, and tasty when deep fried).

Next, each Teddy Bear gets a signature move. Some brutal way that he finishes off opponents. Using a signature move costs a point of Soul and doubles his dice pool for the conflict roll. For Clucky McSoulPatch I figure it has to involve either his saxophone or quarterstaff into your nether regions and then jumping on your head and pecking your brains out through your eyes as you double over in pain. I’ll call it “Blunt Nads to Brainless Peck”.

Now we hit some Beary Important Details… it’s true. He needs a colour, a favourite tool of death, a sucker for and a peeve. As a hip chicken, he’s mostly yellow except for his black turtleneck and bright blue comb. His favourite tool of death is whatever piece of wood he can pick up (like a 2×4, a swizzle stick or a pool cue) or if necessary his saxophone.

A Sucker For is something that the character can’t not do. In this case, it’s the consumption of fried food. The smell of KFC is enough to send him into a nearly paralyzed daze as he wanders towards the deep frier… And of course a pet peeve is something that sends him over the deep end. In this case it’s traditional, boring poetry. Especially without bongos.

Clucky McSoulPatch
Form: Chicken
Colour: Yellow with black turtleneck and bright blue comb
Favourite Tool of Death: Blunt piece of wood or treasured saxophone
A Sucker For: Fried food
Pet Peeve: Boring traditional poetry

Body: 3
Mind: 2
Soul: 6

Traits
[ 4 ] Peck Yer Eye Eyeballs Out (or somewhere else that hurts, damnit)
[ 3 ] Musical Accompaniment
[ 3 ] Frier Tuck

Signature Move: Blunt Nads to Brainless Peck

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